ONE... two?! Dance shoes??

So this morning I was going about my normal morning routine. Then I remembered Bea has dance tonight. I try really hard to keep her ballet stuff together. But last week I didn't take her to ballet. Izak did. I had rehearsal. By the time I got home her ballet stuff was strewn throughout the house. It was late. I was tired. I didn't want to deal with it. I figured I'd get the weekend to get her stuff together.

That following morning I noticed ONE ballet slipper entwined with her tights on the floor in her bathroom. I thought to myself: I should take this slipper out and make sure the other slipper isn't in her tights so I don't end up washing them. I did. Right then. I took the ONE slipper and set it down on the stool next to Millie's shoes. I felt around in her tights for the other slipper. Nothing. So I went about my morning routine.

Fast forward to sometime this last weekend. I was cleaning. I moved the dresser in the family room and there was the other slipper! I thought to myself: Wow! I would have never found this shoe! (At this point it gets blurry in my head. I can't remember if I told Bea to put it somewhere or if I put it somewhere 'safe.')

Needless to say, it's Thursday morning and I have NO idea where that damn slipper is! I've searched everywhere - making myself late to work AGAIN. I'm so pissed, annoyed, irritated... at myself, at Bea at Izak... WHAT. THE. HECK!? Why do I always have to be the one to take care of EVERYTHING and make sure EVERYTHING is in it's PROPER PLACE!!

Sometimes it sucks to be a responsible person. GAH!



In other news:

I WON 2 tickets to a dinner/show!! I never win ANYTHING!! This theatre company is putting on Hairspray and it's about a mother and daughter... so they were having this contest to send in your best mother daughter photos and you could win 2 free tickets and be entered to win season tickets. So I entered in the picture where the girls and I are wearing funny head things and we WON!! I'm so excited to take Bea. She loves that show. I wish I could take Millie too coz she loves it as well. Oh well. Next time.

I also got my script and shoot schedule for my mini commercial/movie. Yay!!

Bea's 4th Birthday Pictures!

My baby....

My dad made this AMAZING cake! This is the first
time he's worked with fondant. (sp?) It was SO good!!

I'm sure most of you have seen the pictures on FB already... but I picked out a few to post here. I can't believe my baby is 4! :(

Rising Star...

Okay. Not really... ;) Here is some more information regarding that something new... I got offered a part in a commercial thingy! I say it like that because it's not really a commercial. It won't be aired nation-wide or anything. It's a commercial for a pharmaceutical company. It's about an incentive program... 'Just be the top selling pharmaceutical rep in 2012 and you can get this FREE cruise to...' I have the script. I basically picture myself doing a lot of nodding and smiling. I think I have like one or two lines. :) I'm super excited about it though. There's a chance that the company will want to do more 'commercials' and to give it continuity I'll be the go to girl! I've been told the director does other things and if he likes my work he might call on me for other projects. We'll see. It will be fun. I've been told I need to bring stuff for wardrobe and possible make-up changes. I'm basically gonna pack up my closet! I have to look professional - like a sales rep in one scene. I'll be in a kayak in another scene, and then at some kind of elegant cocktail party in another. We were supposed to be shooting Friday. Then it got moved to Monday. Then Sunday. Then Monday again. I'm just going with it! One of the perks of having a flexible job!! So wish me luck!!


And in other news I've been brainstorming via www.pinterest.com ideas for the girl's bathroom, bedroom, my kitchen redo, pantry... For the most part I want to keep it fairly simple. I'm not remodeling or anything!

A new home...

I would LOVE to have a new house. But since that's probably not in my cards for who knows how many years I've decided that this spring (budget allowing) I might do some DIY projects around the house. For example:

I've been dying to re-paint the girls bathroom and update it a little bit.

Beatrice has been wanting her room PINK! So I thought: Why not get a couple of different shades of pink paint - letting her choose and she can help me paint!

I'd like to paint my cupboards in the kitchen.

I'd like to get new window coverings - since our current ones are slowly disintegrating. :(

I'd love to put down more wood floor in the bedrooms this time - maybe that would get rid of all the stains on the carpet! Because we wouldn't have any more carpet!! Yay!!

I'd like to paint the main room once and for all. I don't know what I was thinking by leaving it white....

So it seems like a lot of stuff huh? Don't worry I probably won't get a chance to do ANY of it! It just makes me feel better to 'write' it down somewhere. :)

Millie Singing

I caught Millie making up a song and singing to herself the other day. It was so cute I couldn't help but record it for a bit.

Yesterday...

Yesterday was such a good day. I mean, despite me being late to work and all. I brought cake pops (that I made myself) to celebrate Bea's birthday to her school. One of her teachers asked: 'And will you be coming in later today?' I didn't realize I could. So I found out what time and I thought to myself: You know, growing up I always thought it was cool that my friend's moms would come to help out with a class party. I always wanted my mom to come help out. (Perhaps my friends didn't think it was cool to them.) So I decided that I really wanted to go and be there for Beatrice. And I did. I walked in just in time. I almost couldn't find Bea at first. The kids were sitting in their circle and I kept scanning the circle and couldn't find her. Then I realized she was sitting on a little stool - a place of honor - with a birthday crown on. (How could I miss her right!)




She was just beaming when she saw me! I took some pictures and I sat and watched them do their little birthday things. Bea was carrying a globe and there was a wooden sun in the center of the circle and on top of the sun was a little tea light candle that the teacher had lit. So Bea got to walk around the sun with the globe 4 times.




After each rotation the teacher would ask: What can a 1 year old do? What can a 2 year old do? (And so on.) Then after they made it to 4 years Bea got to blow out the candle in the center of the circle!




Afterwards they went outside to eat their treats. Bea got to open and take a bite out of hers first! I felt bad because she took one bite and her cake ball fell off the stick and rolled on to the floor! Luckily they had extras! All the kids liked their treats and afterwards they got to play. I took some more pictures - you can see more of them on FB. Beatrice wanted to take some pictures too so I let her. She's a pretty good little photographer! It was so fun and I'm so glad I got to share that moment with her. When I got her home I asked her if she thought I would come and she said: no. That made me sad. :( But she was glad that I did come and I hope I can surprise her again like that. Guess that's just another perk of me having this job.

Over the Moon!

I'm seriously so excited! I just got a call from a friend... and I don't want to jinx it but this may be the change I've been looking, hoping, wishing for!! Just when I was feeling down and wanting to get a new job, a change of scene. It might pay off to have this current job. After all my hours are fairly flexible... I will go into more detail is soon as I found out more information. I'm hoping everything syncs and this will work out!! Think good thoughts for me!!

Late again...

This morning I was late to work again. But this morning was different from the other mornings. I woke up at my same time and started my same routine. Around 6 a.m Millie woke up with a bad dream. I held her for a while. She was kind of cranky after her bad dream and just wanted to be in my arms. So I let her. I tried to distract her with some toys so I could finish my hair, but that didn't work for long. She was being all crabby at my feet throwing a little fit and practically demanding me to hold her. I told her I would as soon as I was finished. I didn't raise my voice or get mad at her. (Like I normally do.) Once I was done I swept her up into my arms and we went to wake Beatrice up. (Who didn't want to get up.) I made Bea breakfast, then remembered to make her her lunch as well! Ate some breakfast myself, then went to get ready and the girls ready. It was already 7 by then and there was no way I'd be able to get them dressed in 15 min. So instead of stressing about it. I just let it happen. I got the girls dressed and we were out the door late. Very late. We made it to Bea's school just as her classmates were walking to her class. Then I was off to Mary's. Millie didn't want me to go, as usual. But then Kristen and a brilliant idea and asked Millie to help pass out napkins to everyone. Millie jumped on that! She likes being a big girl and helping out. She's so sweet. So that was my morning. I was late to work. Very late. But I wasn't stressed and I didn't get mad. Things happen. And with the unexpected death of a distant friend I'm more aware of how precious life is and you never know when it will be your last moment. I want my girls to know that I love them no matter what. I just hope I can keep this new awareness going. I know things wear off and we're back to our normal selves again. I just want to make every moment with my girls count.

Happy Birthday Beatrice!

My baby is 4 today. She is getting so big and so smart and so clever! She can be such a butt at times and can be a terrible listener. But she can be so good and helpful when she wants to be. I love her (and her sister) so much! I don't know what I would do without her (and her sister) in my life.

I love you my sweet Bea!! Happy birthday! (Now stop growing!)

Six days after she was born.

This morning.

Tragic

Tonight I was told that a distant friend of mine passed away in her sleep. She was 32 years old. Leaving behind two daughters 10 and 3 years old, and a son 7 years old. It was completely unexpected. I knew her through elementary school to high school. We weren't close but she was always nice to everyone. We recently, about 3 years ago, got reconnected through Facebook. We emailed each other a couple of times updating each other on our lives after high school. We had a mutual friend (not from high school) and we'd see each other at a kid's party here or a baby shower there.

I've heard that she and her husband went to bed around 11:30 and everything was fine. Sometime during the night or early morning she passed. Her little 3 year old was in bed with them. Her eldest has been saying: Mommy was fine last night... her son has been curled up in the fetal position and won't let anyone touch him, and her 3 year old just keeps asking: Where's Mommy?

She was such a sweet and kind spirit. And it saddens me that her kids will never be able to run into her arms for comfort, or hear her tell stories of her high school years. It makes me sad that she'll never be able to comb her sweet girl's hair. Or give them all hugs and kisses. I pray for her kids and her family. I pray that they find comfort in God and somehow find the strength to carry on and hold her in their hearts forever.

Tonight I'm holding my girls just a little bit tighter.

Crappy

This week has been crappy as far as mornings go. I've been late to work for the majority of this week. My patience is low/non-existent.... This morning I was yelling at Bea to wake up. Millie was irritable and whinny and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I went to my ipod player and pushed play and turned up the music. Really, really, REALLY loud. And just started dancing, singing along and being silly. Millie joined in immediately and Beatrice slept through it. Figures. I got dressed while singing and dancing and then went to wake up Bea. AGAIN. I told her I would pick something out for her to wear.

She said: NO! I want to pick something out, but first I want to sleep for just one more minuet. To which I replied: No! We're late! You know what? You can just go to school like that, in your pj's.
Then she freaked out and jumped up and found something to wear. But I still had to make her a waffle for the road, chocolate milk, and get Camille's pants on because she didn't want to wear them!

And after I dropped off Bea, Millie was acting whinny and irritable again and I just turned on the radio full blast... I just couldn't deal with it. I'm so tired! The night before I went to sleep with the girls - like I ALWAYS do - all 3 of us in a twin bed. Not. Fun. The girls fell asleep and I snuck out. But like 30 min. later they both came into my room. So back to their bed I went. Bea fell asleep right away but Millie had an awful night and I was up for a good 3 hours with her trying to get her to sleep. It's just kind of been a week full of crappy nights and mornings and I'm just over it. Camille has cried every day this week when I've dropped her off at Mary's she doesn't want to go. I hate it! It breaks my heart. I just want to pick her up and take her home and just hold her all day when she does that...

I've been trying to squeeze in time to go over my lines because we're supposed to be off book this week. Meaning we're not supposed to be holding our scripts in our hands and reading off of them. Last night we learned a dance for our Mermaid song. Yeah. That was fun. My 'sisters' and I were going to the lobby to practice our new dance and one of them (they're all younger than me) said: You know you're so pretty, you look like a teenager! I was like: Really? Thanks, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.. haha.. Then I was thinking: Just wait till you're older and look back on the pictures and stuff you'll realize: damn that girl really was old! :) I always have trouble when I'm cast with younger people. Especially if we're supposed to give the illusion that we're friends or family... I just don't have anything in common with them so it's hard to get to know them or create a friendship with them off stage...

Oh well. Gotta get back to it.

I need a change...

I feel like I need to do some spring cleaning in my life! I need a change. I just don't know how to go about doing it... For example (but not limited to):

I WANT A FUN CREATIVE JOB THAT PAYS ME BANK!! ;)

I like to plan parties... I want to plan more.

Sometimes I feel like I want to move and just start over somewhere.

UGH!

Today a friend of mine has a connection to a company that is looking for a full time event planner. I'm totally interested...but my resume isn't exactly filled with event planning experience. They're also located outside of town. I really don't want to drive somewhere else in the morning. That just translates to having to get up earlier and waking the girls up earlier to make sure we're all ON TIME. I probably won't have the flexibility there as I do here. (This is even IF I were to get offered the job.) And another head scratcher is: It's a produce type operation... how much event planning can they possibly need?? And how fun and exciting would it really be? Would I be planning farmer's markets or something?? When I think of party planning I think of bridal showers, birthday parties, corporate events... I think of something fun.

Anyways... just another thing that gets my mind ticking and itching to do something different.

Camille's 2nd Birthday PICTURES!

Ok, well my blogger is being weird and I'm having trouble uploading all the pictures I'd like, but if you're on FB you can see the majority of them there! I love how the pictures and the party turned out! Next up: Bea's Neverland themed party...

That bugs...

So... I sent out Bea's birthday invites a month in advance. I'm pretty sure I sent out save the date reminders through facebook about 2 or 3 months in advance. (What can I say, I like all my friends and I want them to be there! That's why I give them so much time to SAVE THE DATE!) In my mind I figure - if you've gotten this invite early and that day is clear for you AND you RSVP, you're coming... nuff said. Of course I totally understand if little ones end up being sick or just some random twist of fate happens and you're not able to attend, but texting me or calling me to let me know... we're cool. What I don't understand is you RSVPing, then realizing you have some family functions you have to go to.

Don't get me wrong. I understand family things. BELIEVE ME! But... I have trouble believing that you didn't know these so called family parities were taking place on THIS particular day. (Not to mention at this exact time b/c I'm having Bea's party in the morning this year.)

Granted, I DON'T have extended family in this area. I've TRIED to put myself in your shoes. And I guess we're just different people. Because, depending on the party or type of event, I would KNOW that someones birthday or whatnot happens to fall around this time. I would casually ask that family member if they were going to have a gathering or not. And if they couldn't give me a direct answer I would either make a commitment to be at this OTHER event I was notified about MONTHS in advance or just choose to not make a commitment at that time.

Oh well. I guess I just don't understand. And I will try not to take it personally. I'm sure I'm not the perfect party attender/rsvp-er/follow through-er... though I try to be. I guess I'm just glad I found out now instead of the day of the party.

Conversations with my girls

This morning on the way to school Bea and Millie were talking about Disney Land. The Pirates of the Caribbean ride to be exact. Bea was asking me why that one girl, in the long blue dress was crying. It took me a couple of seconds to realize she was talking about the ride and not someone riding the ride with us. I tried to explain to her that a long time ago pirates went into cities, stole stuff, killed the men, and sold the women off... Not sure if she understood that.

Then Millie chimed in and said: I want to go on the pirate ride with Gigi!
Bea said: Gigi doesn't like the waterfalls Camille! She can't go on the ride with you!
Millie: Yes Gigi likes the water palls!
Bea: No she doesn't!
Millie: Yes she do!
Bea: No she doesn't Camille!!

It was so cute! I finally said that if Gigi wanted to go on the ride with Camille she could. And that Bea and I could go on another ride. (Bea has decided that she doesn't like the Pirates ride.) :(

Of course this whole conversation came about because we went to Disney Land for New Years. A friend told us that last year on New Years day it was dead so we decided to try it. And it wasn't bad. The girls had so much fun. I just love to watch them. We got to ride lots of rides and met some princesses. Camille was in awe. It was the cutest thing to see her face all lit up.

Now I've got The Little Mermaid rehearsals, I need to memorize my lines, I'm still planning and prepping for Bea's birthday party - I feel like I'm so unprepared! :( ACK!! I just need to get through the next week - plan, shop, prepare, decorate.... And maybe I can breath a little bit. Oh and I still need to get thank you cards out for Millie's bday and Christmas... I'm a bit stressed... needless to say I've got piles of stuff to do at work....